Audiofiction

 

 

Star Trek : L’épisode égaré

Spork : une histoire d’amour érotique (attention : pour public averti)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Star Trek: The Lost Episode is an audiofic by an unknown person or persons. It was aired on « The Dr. Demento Show » beginning in the late 1990s.
« Star Trek: The Lost Episode » is what audio engineers refer to as a « razortape ». It is composed of soundbites from various episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series, edited together to create a « lost episode » in which Captain Kirk and Spock become lovers. Included are soundbites of Scotty seemingly becoming involved in the erotic goings-on.
It was commented on in the January 2000 issue of The K/S Press. « For several years there has been an audio tape circulating through fandom, a compilation of lines and snippets from the episodes put together to form a most fascinating whole. It exists in several different forms, some including Scotty, others excluding him, edited in different ways. We played the tape at the first K/S Press Party at Shore Leave three years ago. »

Transcript:
Opening music of original Star Trek Theme
K: « Captain’s Log: Specimen gathering mission on planet Alpha 177″ (The Enemy Within)
K: « Mr. Spock is much stronger than the ordinary human being. Aroused, his great physical strength could kill, but it’s a risk I’ll have to take. » (This Side of Paradise)
Sound effect: door opening
K: « Something bothering you, Mr. Spock? » (What Are Little Girls Made Of)
S: « May I say that I have not thoroughly enjoyed serving with humans. I find their illogic and foolish emotions a constant irritant. » (Day of the Dove)
K: « Unlike you, we humans are full of unpredictable emotions. » (What Are Little Girls Made Of)
S: « Love, tenderness… » (The Enemy Within)
K: « Yes, yes… »
S: « If I seem insensitive to what you’re going through, Captain, understand, it’s the way I am. » (The Enemy Within)
(romantic music)
K: « Don’t be afraid, here’s my hand, hold on. » (The Enemy Within)
S: « You are beautiful, more beautiful than any dream of beauty I’ve ever known. » (All Our Yesterdays)
K: « What is your point Mr. Spock? » (The Enemy Within)
S: « I love you. I can love you. » (This Side of Paradise)
K: « Kiss me. » (What Are Little Girls Made Of)
Music, uh, swells, and the sound of zipper being unzipped (or zipped) is thrown in.
K: « Are you out of your mind? » (This Side of Paradise)
S: « The prospect appeared quite attractive to you a moment ago. » (All Our Yesterdays)
K: « You don’t really want to hurt me, do you. Put that thing away. » (All Our Yesterdays)
S: « No, I don’t think so. » (This Side of Paradise)
K: « No…I… can’t… » (This Side of Paradise)
S: « …It is painless and quick… » (The Enemy Within)
K: *scream*
S: “Entry made by Second Officer Spock… » (The Enemy Within)
K: *scream*
K: « It’s possible we may have hit the wrong entry point. » (What Are Little Girls Made Of)
S: « Yes, very well, Captain. » (What Are Little Girls Made Of)
K: « Try again. » (Miri)
S: « If it pleases you. » (All Our Yesterdays)
K: « What are you waiting for, hurry! » (All Our Yesterdays)
S: « If you’ll excuse the intrusion, Captain. » (The Enemy Within)
K: *scream*
K: « Bury the hatchet. » (Day of the Dove)
S: « An appropriate choice of terms, Captain. » (Day of the Dove)
K: *scream*
(door swishes open)
Scotty: « Achhh – Keep your Vulcan hands off. Just — keep away! You green blooded half breed! » (Day of the Dove)
K: « Scotty…no, wait! » (Day of the Dove)
Scotty: « Are you alright, Captain? » (The Enemy Within)
K: « S’alright. Just a little dizzy. » (The Enemy Within)
K: « I have to take him back…inside myself. I can’t survive without him. I don’t want to take him back. He’s like an animal, a thoughtless, brutal animal. » (The Enemy Within)
Scotty: « Let me give you a hand. » (The Enemy Within)
Sound effect: zipper being unzipped again
Scotty: « This thing could go anywhere! » (Day of the Dove)
S: « You’ve not yet explained the nature of this thing. » (This Side of Paradise)
Scotty: « She’s a projectile, at warp nine! » (Day of the Dove)
K: « Get below – take command… » (Day of the Dove)
Scotty: « Aye, sir! » (Day of the Dove)
Scotty: « You’re a beauty! » (Day of the Dove)
Sound effect: door opening
K: « I won’t fight you anymore. (sigh) I feel so weak. (garbled) I’ll be glad when this is over. » (The Enemy Within)
S: « I am substantial. » (All Our Yesterdays)
K: *gasps*
S: « You are not imagining this. » (All Our Yesterdays)
Sound effects: sound of scuffle, repeated slaps (A Private Little War)
S: « Harder! » (A Private Little War)
K: *s-c-r-e-a-m* Sound effect: heart rate monitor
K: *scream* Sound effect: heart rate monitor (faster)
K: « What… are we doing to each other? » (Day of the Dove)
S: « Fascinating. The result of…stress? » (Day of the Dove)
K: « We’ve been under stress before. » (Day of the Dove)
S: « This is impossible! I am a Vulcan. » (All Our Yesterdays)
K: « What can you expect from a simpering, devil-eared freak. Whose father was computer, and his mother an encyclopedia? » (This Side of Paradise)
S: « I’m behaving disgracefully. I have eaten animal flesh and I have enjoyed it. » (All Our Yesterdays)
K: « Believe me, Mr. Spock, it was painful — in… more ways than one. » (The Enemy Within)
Scotty: « Aye, sir! »
K: « Captain’s Log: Supplemental. I’ve seen a part of myself no man should ever see. » (The Enemy Within)
K: « Thank you, Mr. Spock. From both of us. » (The Enemy Within)
Music swells up and it’s over!–

6 Responses

  1. kokoroyume dit :

    xD
    C’est excellent ! Je ne me doutais pas que des gens avaient été jusqu’à faire ce genre de montage, c’est une véritable perle =)

  2. Shina Maemi dit :

    loool c’est génial !!! trop bien fait franchement c’est une super idée, ça m’a ait beaucoup rire, j’ai adoré !!!
    merci beaucoup pour cette trouvaille ^_^

  3. duneline dit :

    une véritable merveille!!!!!!

  4. sayu nekoko dit :

    J’ai pas super compris certaine allusion mais je me suis bien marrer, c’est genial comme truc !! Les fans sont vraiment fous … J’adore ^^

    • admin dit :

      Tu as une traduction en français disponible sur la page n’hésites pas à t’y référer si tu n’as pas tout bien compris :)
      Merci de tes commentaires !!

  5. Raven Howl dit :

    C’est juste énorme ! Ca m’a fait un peu bizarre d’entendre la voix de Zachary Quinto dire ce genre de chose ( moi qui l’imagine très sérieux, que ce soit dans sa vie d’acteur ou lorsqu’il joue Spock ). C’était vraiment super, je me suis bien amusée et je remercie ceux qui on fait ce montage.
    Raven

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